After another fight with my mother over the phone, I feel a bit exhausted, but strangely detached. I am 28 years old, I don’t live with her, and yet we can still fight like a mother and a teenage daughter. It gets old after a while, but it’s not easy to change your behavior. So, I always end up blaming myself for so many things and, well, I tend to suffer from constant guilt when it comes to her.
But now I’m… It’s different. I don’t feel much. I don’t feel guilty, all I feel is that I’m tired of feeling guilty. I just can’t do that anymore.
Well, at least that’s how I feel at the moment.
I keep noticing gray hairs and I guess (apart from genetic) it’s because I tend to worry all the time. I’d love to stop, and to relax, for a change.
Music: “Hard Sun” (Eddie Vedder covers Indio), “Into the Wild” soundtrack (mmmm). I love this film.
I’m in one of my fragile states at the moment. Yes, again. Sometimes I hate being so emotional, I hate panicking and yet I can not control myself. Sometimes. On other occasions, I have all the strength I need. I wonder if that depends on hormones, the weather or some other thing…
Everything I want at this moment is to watch some films or listen music… And possibly cry, but in a good, relieving way.
I’m obsessed with NIN’s “Hurt” song, and play it all day long… So powerful.
PS-Great thanks to Iva for finding this incredible Internet gem for me. Amazingly random and absurd, just like I love it!
I feel weird and overly emotional right now. Sure, it has a lot to do with the PMS, but I just want and need to be more rational at this moment because I have some serious work to do.
Instead of serious work, I’m procrastinating. I’m really good at that. At the same time, I feel like a little girl who just need a hug…
… and, at the same time, I want to dance or play guitar reeeeeallly aggressively (not that I know how to play a guitar). Like I said, that’s just PMS, but I don’t want to feel like this. I’m not sad, it’s just… I feel like a teenage girl full of weird- working hormones. I don’t need that right now.
And forty… Pearl Jam is releasing remastered “Ten”, and there will be 4 editions (4×10=40). They want more of our money? Sure, but that’s not the point. Maybe I don’t want to hear new versions of some songs, maybe I do. But I definitely love the fact that there will be “State of Love and Trust” and the Unplugged.
Ok, we all know: “Ten” is not their best album, “true” PJ fans would never say they love “Ten” and yada yada. But you know, admit it or not, we ALL fall in love with the band and their music thanks to “Ten”.
I have to say I’m not a (big) fan of the Eurovision. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad my home city is the host city of this year’s competition, I just don’t know much about the competition itself. TV performances, pointless pop songs, pointless dance songs, “glamour”, really bad English (c’mon people, sing in your own language for a change, there’s nothing wrong with that, on the contrary!) – not really my thing.
Personally, I’m glad Belgrade got the opportunity to show itself in the positive light. I have to admit I adore my city and tourists are usually quite surprised to see it’s a modern European city (now what did they exactly expect? More than 2 million people live in Belgrade, and of course it looks like an European city, because- IT IS an European city (duh). Belgrade has a rich culture and history, but tourists are usually interested in the night life (meaning: insane number of clubs all over the city that work all night… suuure, that sounds fun, but it’s just not my thing, and there are several under my window, and that just not as great as it sounds. But I’ll whine about it some other time).
So, welcome to Belgrade I believe people will have fun…
…We just need to survive today’s elections. Don’t ask.
PS- About our participant… This year, Serbia is presenting another Joksimovic’s creation, though “Oro” is a better song (sorry, I just can’t stand “Lane moje”) and Jelena Tomasevic has a great voice. Some say audience got bored of this etno ballads style of songs, some say Europe just love them… we’ll see. What I don’t like about this whole thing- majority of people here believe we’re gonna win again! I mean, that would be great, but could you just wait and see?!?!?
