… About her personality disorders

I found this at http://www.4degreez.com, took the test and… I got some pretty surprising results. See below.

So, according to this test (not that I trust online test, but let’s forget about that for the moment), I have good chances of developing avoidant and obsessive- compulsive disorder. Don’t get me wrong, I knew this already. What surprises me about this test, is the fact I got “low” on antisocial disorder! I always thought I was antisocial, but according to this test, I’m “avoidant’. Hmmm, let’s see what it means:

“Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others.” (http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/avoidant.html)

Ok, that sounds a bit like me, I’m afraid. I’m one of those really shy people who don’t seem to fit in. I don’t know why. Wait.. perhaps I do. I don’t know how to chat, you know, talk about random, relaxing stuff with people who belong to my age group (or any age group for that matter). And that makes you weird in the eyes of others. I never know what to say in that “relaxing chat” type of conversation. So, I usually keep my mouth shout. But when it comes to something that’s really important to me, I’m not hesitating to state my opinion. Sometimes, I even get aggressive in doing that. So, most of the people are a bit shocked when they see that, they just didn’t expect it from me.

On the other hand, the test says I’m, more than anything, obsessive- compulsive. I might be, but I don’t find myself in their explanation (http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/ocd.html).

I might be preoccupied with orderliness and I do focus on details, but I’m not a workaholic, I don’t follow rules I don’t find right and I certainly not lack generosity. I really didn’t know how they got this from my answers. But, like I said, you can’t really trust these tests.

Take the test

PS-I know this whole thing was stupid. But I was bored and took the test. :p

I hate when it happens. And it happens (almost) all the time. My biorhythm is often weird, I usually reach my maximum at night, so I suddenly “wake up” around 11 PM or something, and I can’t sleep all night.

Of course, I feel like shit the next day, and even if I manage to have a good night sleep sometimes, I do suffer from insomnia at least two or three times a week. It’s not as good as it sounds, since I’m not quite fond of clubbing or TV porn, so there’s not much I can do at 3 AM, except surfing the net (how lame!) or reading the book. Sure, I can study, which is a positive thing, but you can’t do that all the time, now can you?

Seriously: insomnia is not fun. It makes you very weak during the day, and it’s weird during the night because, like I already said: contrary to the popular belief, there are not many things you can do during the night to entertain yourself. Especially if you’re so full of energy and your intellect and physical strength are at their maximum.

It took me more than 15 years to realize why I have some freckles on my nose. You see, I though dark haired, brown eyed people do not have them, right? Wrong.

Of course it’s wrong, because it’s skin that matters. And my skin is really light, almost pale. Two hundred years ago, it would be considered really pretty and aristocratic (*vomit sound*). Today, it’s just… weird. Now, I’m not in my teens anymore (woohoo!) so I really don’t care what I look like. But I always wondered why I got those damn freckles on my nose. They just appeared when I was 8 or 9, and though they cover just a small area of my face (my nose… well, perhaps not THAT small area) they seem a bit weird, since my hair is dark brown. Oh, and I have some freckles on my shoulders, too. Not exciting at all.

So, I’ve discovered what’s all that about just a while ago. My grandma, who was quarter Polish, quarter Austrian, she had reddish brown hair. You could not really tell when she was older, because her hair looked darker. And guess what- her half Polish/half Austrian mother had reddish hair and pale skin. And I really look like her (my gran-grandmother). Hech, I’m nearsighted like she was. It looks like I inherited her skin type. Which means some freckles, I’m afraid. And you can’t have reddish hair without freckles, riiight? But obviously, you can have dark hair and freckles, now isn’t that weird?

I don’t know why I wrote all this. Especially about my granny. Yesterday I remembered her, like she was before she got sick and it was a great memory. I hope I’d be able to remember only good things about her in the future. I really miss her now. I guess I’m just nostalgic today. I feel a bit vulnerable.