… It will get weird quickly.

Remember my race related entry? Along with “New Moon” review, that’s the one that got all the attention. Unwanted attention, sure, but I am not complaining.

Or maybe I do? “I am racist” entry got many visitors; some of them were first (and only) time visitors. And many of them came from… strange places, to say the least. I don’t think any white supremacist could have fun here (there’s nothing- I repeat: nothing) that can lead them here (or at least I hope so), but the entry was obviously intriguing and misleading.

To make two things clear

One: When I said I was racist, I didn’t mean I was racist towards black people. On the contrary. Read the whole entry before making a judgment.

Second: Even though my test results show I have prejudice towards white people, that doesn’t mean I hate white people. After all, I am white. My friends and family are white. Heck, all the people I know are white.

Which is precisely why the test result don’t show my racism- rather my social anxiety. I am very (and I mean: very) shy, and I lack profound social skills. To be honest, I don’t fully understand people, nor they understand me. I don’t hate humans, I really don’t- but there’s obviously something in me that have at least a bit of fear when it comes to social contacts. On the other hand, I am friendly and I like meeting new people; but my lack of social skills sometimes make those interactions awkward.

And since white people are the only people I know, the test show my social anxiety rather than racism.

So, you don’t want to comment? Fine.

Back to my blog post. That entry was really popular, but people refused to comment (same goes for “New Moon” entry, but more about it some other time). There’s only one (ok, two) reasons for this:

1. People don’t give a fuck about commenting. (Could be true).
2. People feel embarrassed about their test results.

While I believe majority of my visitors don’t care about commenting on a random blog, I fear some of them could feel awkward after taking the test. Say you got the most popular result (you prefer white people to black). So what? It’s not like you failed to make a point or something. That result is the most popular because there are reasons for it to be. It’s the world around us that make that result so popular. Think about it.

The result could- and should- make you think, but it doesn’t make you a monster. Now, being proud of your racist result is another thing. But that’s yet another story.

I’ve decided to update my site here and there, not just blog. I guess there’s so much to learn here. Today, I present you the Trash section. A place for some of the Internet crap.

I added the videos section. I hope it will grow. I started with a cute little video of on man throwing his shoe on another man. Take a look: Bush Dodges Shoes Thrown by Iraqi Journalist

Like I said, the video itself is not important, what I find particularly interesting are the comments that can be found on video’s youtube page.

Speaking of the video, I love the confused-almost-smiling look on Bush’s face when he saw shoe flying in his direction.

I’d wish to live in “boring times”, but that does not depend on me, now does it. Until I decide to move faar away on some forgotten Pacific island, I’ll have to live in historically exciting times, which is, as we all know, a bad thing.

So, yeah, Kosovo declared independence a week ago. I just “love” to read online comments on this, coming from the people all over the world. Especially coming from the people who don’t have any knowledge on this matter.

Now, before I state my opinion, I’ll tell you that I live in Serbia and therefore my opinion (and historical knowledge) can differ than those posed by CNN (or similar). If you want to know my position better, I can tell you I’m a student of a historical humanity (archaeology), I’m a female, and I’m not 100% Serb, I’m part Croatian, Bulgarian, Austrian and Polish (ethnicity does matter in this story, I’m afraid). I’ve been living in Belgrade, capital of Yugoslavia, then Serbian and Montenegro, now Serbia, for all my life. I was anti- Milosevic since I was 10 and I do believe he did many bad things even to his own people, but all of the major sides involved in breaking up of Yugoslavia had their own Milosevics. I have friends and relatives from all over former Yugoslavia, just like most of the people here do. My best friend is a Serbian refugee from Bosnia, and I know some things that happen in Kosovo, Bosnia and Croatia during the 90s, so yeah, I do feel competent to say a few things here. More competent than random chick from … somewhere who could not find Balkans (or Europe for that matter) on the map.

Anyway, Kosovo declared “independence” last Sunday, an event that polarized the world. Sure, Albanians are happy, Serbs are not, because they’re left without a very important part of their country. Though you might not see it, many politicians, journalists, and general people are also intrigued with Kosovo independence and there’s no general opinion on the matter.

So, why did I use quotation marks when I said “independence”? Because Kosovars are not independent, all they got is “limited recognition” under EU and other world organizations. Now, the term “Kosovars” itself is really bad, it does not really exists here. All you have is Serbs from Kosovo, and Albanians from Kosovo, not “Kosovars”. So, “Kosovars” already have their own, independent country, and it’s called Albania; they consider themselves Albanians, so there’s no need to call them differently.

Albanians make 92% of today Kosovo’s population, while Serbs and other nationalities make under 8%. But that land is incredibly important to all Serbs, because it’s cradle of Serbian cultural identity. Kosovo was part of medieval Serbian kingdom, and most important Serbian monasteries are built there. It is, in all meaning of the words, the heart of Serbia. And not to mention Serbs who still live there, who are now cut off from their own country. So, you can’t just give such important part of your country to other people, now can you?

We were bombed in 1999 because Milosevic did war crimes against Albanians (which he did, more than Serbian media reported, but less than westerns and Albanians claim), yet, Albanian terrorists did war crimes against Serbian civilians on Kosovo at the same time, and nobody cares. Serbia got bombed, more than 500 civilians (both Serbian and Albanian) were killed, and that was not violation of human rights? Many thousands of Albanians became refugees in 1999, but many thousands of Serbs had to leave their homes as well, but you just hear about “Kosovar” (meaning: Albanian) refugees. Those refugees got back to Kosovo after the bombing, but Serbs never got back to their homeland and still live as refugees. Many Serbian civilians were killed by Kosovar terroristic organization KLA, but some of KLA leaders, such as Agim Ceku or Hashim Thaci, are now high Kosovar politicians (Taci is PM). Do you believe Serbs from Kosovo feel safe? Many of them were killed by KLA in 2004, medieval monasteries were damaged, yet, nobody called that ethnic cleansing. Double standards, perhaps?

So, why double standards? Why US wanted so badly to give Kosovo independence? Because they care about poor Albanians tortured by evil Serbs? First of all, Albanians tortured Serbs as well. Second, “evil Serbs” did not have any power within their own land since 1999, because it was UN protection territory and KFOR forces were there to decide about war, peace and all the other things. Kosovo had its parliament (let by war criminals) and yet, Albanians did not live any better than before, because Kosovo’s economy is very low and the only things that blossom there, are smuggling of heroin, weapons and women. Serbs are left on the north parts of Kosovo or enclaves on the south, and are really afraid for their lives.

But, for some reason that we can discuss, US wanted independent Kosovo at all causes. US even made a pressure to many European countries to recognize Kosovo. Why? We can all have our own conspiracy theory, including interest in Kosovo’s oil (unexplored till now), destabilization of Europe, or Russia, but the most popular, and the most likely, is the need for a strategic military base in Europe. They need a military platform in Europe, and Poland and Czech are not really keen on giving Americans build platforms in their countries (or anybody else, for that matter). That has nothing to do with Serbs, Albanians, ethnic cleansing, freedom, or somebody’s cultural identity.

I do not hate Americans (though I’m not fan of their government), but what would such a young nation know about medieval shrines and hundreds of years of somebody’s cultural identity? The only people who live that long (and much longer, for that matter) in America are almost all killed or forced to live in reservations. They do not rule America today.