Tag Archives: bella swan

New Moon: Here we go again

New Moon coverSaying something is “the best in the series” doesn’t mean much when it comes to Stephenie Meyer’s work. So, instead “the best” put “not the worst” and you’ll get it.

No Edward? Yay!
“New Moon” is poorly written, lacks plot and fails at logic. Just like any other book in the “saga”. Still, it’s a bit better than the rest (I still have to read Breaking Dawn, though). Why? Well, first of all, for the most of the book, Edward is absent. I’m in no way in “team Jacob” or whatever you call it, but he was a better character (at this point anyway), and we were spared from Edward’s controlling, abusive “perfection” for the most of the book.

A message for teenage girls
I actually enjoyed first part of the book, if nothing else, it made sense (which is not that common in the Meyer world). Sure, we had “the ultimate depression and suicide thoughts because your boyfriend left you” Bella, but even that worked for me. Why? Because it shows, pretty realistically, what is like when you’re absolutely obsessed and how desperate you become when the source of your obsession leaves; this kind of unhealthy feelings and bad relationship is very sad indeed, but it’s realistic. After all, Meyer finally has an opportunity to really set an example for all those teenagers who love “Twilight”. Watch this, young ladies, and do the opposite. See how unhealthy and creepy obsessions are. Of course, setting an example is not really what Meyer wanted to tell us, since she pictured Bella’s feelings as something normal and good, and her relationship with Edward as true love. Yeah, right.

Do I see a healthy relationship here???
And then we have Jacob. At this point, he seems like the only decent character in the series (apart from Charlie). I’m not sure if Meyer herself was able to recognize this, but she actually managed (for the first and last time) to create a believable, healthy relationship between two people. Yet, she was as stupid as her “heroine” and was 100% unable to recognize this.

Take this for example: All Bella knows about love is an obsessive relationship with her abusive, controlling boyfriend. And now, she’s with a guy who makes her smile, who does a lot of nice things for her, who comforts her, who likes her and TREATS HER AS AN EQUAL (well, more or less). And Bella does feel something for him- but she can’t tell what that is, because all she knows is obsession.

To quote “New Moon”:
“I couldn’t stand hurting Jacob; we seemed to be connected in an odd way”.

Odd way? That’s love, you stupid bitch, but of course you can’t recognize it, since it’s not obsession and since your creator (Meyer) can’t recognize it either.

“Blah” ending
Well, Meyer has to continue with her own obsession with Edward, so we get another amazingly stupid plot, even a little action (in which we learn Bella is even bigger Mary Sue, since she is immune to the powers of the most powerful vampires on Earth), and before you know it, she gets another happy (book) ending with Edward. In the process, she breaks Jacob’s heart and shows exactly how selfish and bitchy she is, and demonstrates in several perfect examples she doesn’t fucking care about Jacob’s feelings. But fear not, he will not act like a realistic character in the next couple of books, because he won’t tell her to eat shit and die, but will start to obsess about her really hard (until we find out in the book 4 that – SPOILER – he was, in fact, in love with her egg cell /SPOILER).

All in all, this is the best shit by Meyer so far, but still shit and still full of really bad messages for teenagers.

“Twilight” rant… I mean, review!

PhotobucketI guess all about Meyer and her work has been said. So, for a moment, I thought the world didn’t need my rant about it… Until I realized I had to do it anyway. So, here it is, my “Twilight” rant number one. Enjoy.

How to keep an open mind?
I am fairly new to this (already dying?) “Twilight” mania, but of course I knew a lot about the book even before I read it: the so-called plot (that didn’t really exist), poor writing (I’ve read excerpts before), misogynistic messages and Meyer’s obsession with her main character. Nevertheless, I’ve tried to read the book with an open mind. I swear to God, I tried my best, but the outcome is the same- Stephenie’s writing sucks. In a very bad way.

Seriously, those books are a phenomenon for themselves: how come they are so painfully boring to read, and yet, they won’t make you stop? Don’t get me wrong, I know quite a few people who stopped after a few chapters. But I also know many masochists who just kept reading. And I admit, I just have to read all of those books, even though I’m pissed with everything about them.

Can somebody explain this to me? Is it because I am hoping something- anything- will actually happen on the next page? Is it because it’s “so bad it’s good”? No, it’s can’t be it. Is it because Meyer’s writing makes you sucked into her protagonist’s mind that you can not escape?

I am far away from a romantic teenager who likes any of her characters; but the writing style just makes you part of the story- and I think this is the key point here. Bella’s head is pretty boring place to hang around; and yet, you’re stuck in there and you can’t help it but to become part of the story (or, should I say, sexual fantasy). It’s like you can read minds. It’s not pretty. It’s difficult, it’s boring, it’s pointless, it’s above all annoying to read mind of such an obsessive person and follow her around, but, since you’re there, it’s hard to stop.

Good. But that doesn’t make “Twilight” books any less plotless, pointless, boring and, above all, bizarre. Yes, bizarre. And mind you, I still haven’t read the ultimate WTF book (“Breaking Dawn”), and yet, it’s creepy. Every aspect of it.

The writing is… strange to say the least, especially in the first book. First of all, NOTHING HAPPENS (all we get to see is Bella waking up, washing her teeth, cooking for her dad, driving to school, thinking about Edward, obsessing about Edward). And I also had a huge problem with the descriptions. It’s a major fail. After pages and pages of descriptions (mainly Edward), I still can not picture the guy, or any other character.

Twilight morality… Or lack thereof
The fact it’s really poorly written it’s not my main problem with “Twilight”. It’s its morality that makes me angry.

I’m sorry, but we’re talking about a world where swearing is avoided at all costs and premarital sex is a HUGE no-no, but stalking, controlling, borderline-rapists and pedophilia is ok… Well, there’s something really wrong with “Twilight” morality (and logic, but that’s another story), that I really find the story creepy. And bizarre.

PS- I guess I could add a few words about the two main characters, since they are guilty of sending all those bad messages to girls around the world.

Bella can’t tell the difference between friendship, lust, true love and obsession. She obsesses about Edward while she actually lusts for him; but because she is a good and pure and a nice girl, she doesn’t want to admit it to herself, so she confuses her feelings for true love.

Now, I’m not saying Meyer is crazy, but she sure is waaaaay immature for her age if, as a woman in her 30s, married and with kids, can’t tell difference between healthy relationship and obsession.

And not to mention Bella is selfish and ungrateful bitch. Why is she so evil to her father? (the only character in the book I really liked, btw). We never get a proper explanation for this.

Is there anything new to say about Edward? He is, after all, an abusive, controlling guy with a bunch of problems (being vampire is the least serious of them).

Actually, the romance had a potential, I guess, but Meyer failed to portray Edward’s personality and his backstory well. I guess the guy has no personality behind a pretty face. Another proof he’s just a perfect (wet) dream, nothing more. Well, not MY wet dream, Meyer.