Tag Archives: interracial relationships

Hate emails I get

My blog is not a popular one, and not many people know about this website. So I don’t have much of a reason to complain about hate emails and comments, or even spam.

But I do get some hate emails from time to time, and I notice they are either about song or a movie I “trashed” or about race/interracial relationships.

This is a bit confusing, because I don’t remember trashing many songs, films or novels apart from “Twilight”- and nobody complained about that. Even people who like “Twilight” like Twilight spittings, or at least don’t complain about them.

But I got one angry email concerning my not-so-favorable review of Avatar, and some people complained about my reviews of other movies, albums and novels- even if I stated I liked them. That’s right. An angry Pearl Jam fan, for example, advised me to “get back to Britney Spears” if I “can’t stand Eddie Vedder and his band”, despite the fact a) Pearl Jam is one of my favourite bands b) I like Eddie’s voice, lyrics and songs, c) it’s not really “his” band- it’s disrespectful to call it like that.

Also, some people thought I had problem with Toni Morrison (even though I said she’s one of my favourite authors), or “House M.D.” series (because I “dislike British actors (wtf?!?) or white women/black men interracial relationships”).

Which brings us to another issue: race. Race is often an issue, but the thing is, I don’t write about it. I simply don’t know much about race dynamics or have any experience with it to write about it. I did state my opinions here and there, but I never wrote about it. Yet, there are people who think I’m “siding with the enemy” (whatever that means), who think I should mind my own business, those who dislike my support for interracial relationships (or those who are angry because they think I’m against interracial relationships), and, most often, those who believe nobody should write about racism because it’s a no-issue anymore.

What is interesting about hate mail of this sort is that these people often get my gender and race wrong (which makes any of their arguments pointless), but they also often remind me I should STFU because I have no experience with race relations (well guess what- I don’t blog about it!) So I guess it has a lot to do with my involvement on other blogs that deal with race relations and racism.

What is interesting to note here is that these trolls are different than people you regularly meet online, so I guess they make a small percentage of Internet users. Still, I don’t understand why they bother, or how they (like those who think I’m trashing movies I actually like) always manage to miss the point. Completely.

Another interesting thing about authors of angry mails is that they often use contact form or find my email address without a problem, while my other visitors ignore them and post comments instead. Haters rarely comment (not that I complain), and general visitors don’t use contact form or emails. So I do find that interesting.

So, I force IR relationships…

As you probably know, I am planning on writing my novel.

This is nothing new- I’ve been planning (and planning) for quite some time now. I don’t usually reveal much about it to people in casual conversations, but some people know about bits and pieces of it.

And while many say they like the idea (maybe they’re just being nice?) those who know about the relationships in the story are often not so crazy about them.

The thing is- almost all of them are interracial.

Some people don’t pay any attention to this fact, but others- especially Americans- do. All the time. They say it’s unrealistic and forced. Almost “too politically correct to be true”.

And I despise political correctness. So naturally, I take this as an insult.

But the thing is- my story is not set on Earth. Characters in my story are humans, but “race” as a category doesn’t exist in their world. That’s right. Race (as we know it) is a social construct and not biological fact. There were cultures who never had race as a category. People in my story belong to such a culture.

Of course, you might say, if there aren’t races, there aren’t interracial romances. Fair enough. But my (potential) readers are humans from Earth, and if I say, for example, that one character has dark skin and kinky hair and another white (light) skin and yellow hair- that’s going to be perceived as an interracial romance.

Most of the relationships in my story are between people who don’t share the same skin colour, hair texture, or eye colour. It’s not so much of an issue for them- it’s like brown haired guy dating a blonde girl in our world. So why do people tell me relationships in the story are “forced”?

Like I said, I don’t reveal much of the plot, so there are all various and logical questions people could ask about my story, even if it’s only about relationships. For example:
– If interracial marriage is the norm in their world, how come not everyone is mixed race?

Which is a good question. To which I have a logical answer. But no, people don’t ask this. All they read is blue eyed guy kissing dark skinned girl, and another example of a couple whose skin shade doesn’t match, and they say it’s “forced”. (Also, people often assume that because I am white, so are my characters, if not mentioned otherwise. Who said, btw, that blue eyed guy must be white?) But even if we forget about this- am I right to feel angry because people perceive relationships in my story as “forced”? (And no, it’s not a romance novel, and it’s not really about who’s dating who, and race is not an issue). And it is “forced”? In a world that is not our own?!?

And just a note- no, I don’t have any personal experience with race issues. But this just makes my position as a writer better in a way: it is much easier for me to write. Without many stereotypes, without learned idea of what’s good and what’s bad when it comes to interracial dating, without shame and guilt (why is always, to some degree, about shame and guilt?)- it is much, much easier for me to write about interracial relationships. Maybe that’s because it’s easier for me to see them as something “normal”, not controversial or unusual.