Tag Archives: white people

Don’t write about race

… It will get weird quickly.

Remember my race related entry? Along with “New Moon” review, that’s the one that got all the attention. Unwanted attention, sure, but I am not complaining.

Or maybe I do? “I am racist” entry got many visitors; some of them were first (and only) time visitors. And many of them came from… strange places, to say the least. I don’t think any white supremacist could have fun here (there’s nothing- I repeat: nothing) that can lead them here (or at least I hope so), but the entry was obviously intriguing and misleading.

To make two things clear

One: When I said I was racist, I didn’t mean I was racist towards black people. On the contrary. Read the whole entry before making a judgment.

Second: Even though my test results show I have prejudice towards white people, that doesn’t mean I hate white people. After all, I am white. My friends and family are white. Heck, all the people I know are white.

Which is precisely why the test result don’t show my racism- rather my social anxiety. I am very (and I mean: very) shy, and I lack profound social skills. To be honest, I don’t fully understand people, nor they understand me. I don’t hate humans, I really don’t- but there’s obviously something in me that have at least a bit of fear when it comes to social contacts. On the other hand, I am friendly and I like meeting new people; but my lack of social skills sometimes make those interactions awkward.

And since white people are the only people I know, the test show my social anxiety rather than racism.

So, you don’t want to comment? Fine.

Back to my blog post. That entry was really popular, but people refused to comment (same goes for “New Moon” entry, but more about it some other time). There’s only one (ok, two) reasons for this:

1. People don’t give a fuck about commenting. (Could be true).
2. People feel embarrassed about their test results.

While I believe majority of my visitors don’t care about commenting on a random blog, I fear some of them could feel awkward after taking the test. Say you got the most popular result (you prefer white people to black). So what? It’s not like you failed to make a point or something. That result is the most popular because there are reasons for it to be. It’s the world around us that make that result so popular. Think about it.

The result could- and should- make you think, but it doesn’t make you a monster. Now, being proud of your racist result is another thing. But that’s yet another story.

I am a racist and here’s the proof

Ah! Racism. The thing I know absolutely nothing about, if we’re talking about first-hand experience.

… But also the subject I am really interested in, both from the anthropological and personal point of view. When I say personal, I don’t mean on having to deal with the issue myself. I admit I don’t. But the way humans think amazes (and scares) me, and I do not wish to pretend that something so obvious like racism (or any separation between “us” and “them”) doesn’t exist. It does, it is bad, and there isn’t much we can do about it. Is there?

Here’s the infamous Implicit Association Test that can basically say if you prefer one race over the other (only black and white are in question here, though there are more tests to explore different issues).

Apparently, test statistics say many people prefer white people. Yes, even some black people feel the same.

So when I found the link, I thought: why not? I’ll take the test and it will, of course, show I do not have any preferences when it comes to race. After all, I believe in equality! This test will prove I don’t have prejudices!

Um… It didn’t go that way.

The result shows I am a racist. They don’t really say it like that, it is masked as: “strong automatic preference”, but we all know what that really means.

It looks like I have a strong automatic preference for black people. That’s right. “Strong preference” means you do have some seeeerious issues, while “black people” means (besides hating white people, I guess) you’re really “speshul” in your racism, since only 2% of people have the same views.

I never thought of myself as racist. Never. To tell you the truth, I still don’t. There must be something wrong with that test; perhaps it’s because I am not a native English speaker.

And then… Maybe it’s deeper. After all, I’ve never met a black person in my life. I hardly ever saw a black human being apart from TV, images and movies. Wait… I did sit next to a black man on a bus once. And that would be about all. So I bet the lack of experience is making my result wrong. And not in a way that I like black people because I’ve never met them; but in a way I dislike white people because I live among them and I know them very well.

I think this test doesn’t prove I’m a racist, but a misanthrope.

PS-But to be 100% honest, I wasn’t really disappointed with the test, just surprised. I think I’d feel worse with “strong preference for white people” result, so deeply inside, I don’t hate myself for this.

Take the test and discover something nasty about yourself!